Learning something new ((Dec))

Forrest walked into the armory. She eyed the dingy place fir the first time. She had been fine with her prefferred knifed, but she realized that she seriousely needed another weapon. Being newly claimed, she decided it best to try a bow as it was supposed to be easy to pick up well ....for an Apollo kid. The words melted in her mind. What was she doing? She didn't want to be here. It was growing harder for her to resist these things, she would involentarily go somewhere only to realize the dire cost when it was too late.

Sighing, she knew she must complete her task. She took a long bow and a short bow, she weighed them at her side and strung each one to get the feel for it. Her sister, who was excellent with a bow, had taught her quite a bit. She shot the short bow; the arrow hit rather close to it's ideal mark, but something felt wrong. She grabbed the long bow and dud the same. The arrow landed closer to it's mark, but it was not exact. Something still felt wrong, however, she agreed she would take the long bow as it seemed more ...comfortable.

Hearing footsteps, Forrest flew across the room and yanked the arrows from the light canvas against the wall. She hid them behind her back and absentmindedly started humming, she looked at the knives beside her and appeared to be rummaging through them. She did not know if she was allowed to be shooting anything in here and she did not want to get in trouble.

Dec hated himself. He was lost again in the labyrinth that was the camp. He had his walking stick with him, tapping absentmindedly in front to gauge depth and obstacles. But he had strayed farther away from the bench this time. He could feel the slight wind moving his light hair around, and the rustle of leaves from the trees. Dec cursed himself. Why was he at camp. He hated having the other's pity, but yet he craved their company. He hadn't had any in so long. Not since...BAM! the gunshot came crashing through his memory, desperate cries into the darkness. Dec smacked a building and slid down next to it. The memories sweeping over him uncontrollably.

Dec stared wide-eyed as his drunken father barreled in the room. Scotch in one hand, a belt in the other. "Dec! I know your in heerrrreee!" He yelled as he lumbered throughout the rooms. Dec sat huddled behind the dank couch of their dingy apartment. "There you are!" Dec watched as his father grabbed his mother by her hair, smacking her hark with the bottle. she wimpered, and Dec stood up. He didn't want his mom to get hurt anymore. "You stupid little punk, hidin'! Your too big of a wuss to do anything!" His father screamed as Dec shivered, but glad his mom had tiem to scurry out of the room. Dec's father came across the room, now trading his belt for two bottles of Jack. SMACK! Dec stumbled backwards, clutching his broken eyes and fell over a coffee table whereas his dad slumped on the couch, passed out.


Dec sobbed, his tears covering the memory of what happened next like a comforting blanket. shivering, Dec wiped his eyes. His sorrow took his anger down the drain, and now dec was drained. Standing up, he grasped his stick with a white hand and hit around for an opening into the building. He found one, and walked inside to hear some shuffling. He cocked his red eyes to the side, and raised his free hand in peace.

Forrest eased hearing the familier clank of Dec's walking stick. She breathed an easy sigh of relief and walked over to put the shorter bow away. "Hello Declan!" Forrest said, much brighter than usual. She realized just how weird it sounded to use his real name. She didn't recall ever calling him anything besides Dec. 

She began fixing herself a quiver as she continued speaking. She gestured at the quiver and said, "I'm just finding a bow and making a quiver." She laughed as she realized she was shutting her shoulders and pointing at the unfinished quiver. 'Of course, he's not going to see me!' She criticized.

In order to make conversation, Forrest shuffeled her feet saying, "soo, what have you been, up to..." She finished awkwardely. It almost felt weird talking to him, she didn't really know what to say. 

((my muse ran away because it's mad I didn't do my homework)) 

(Your muse and I need to have a serious talk)

Dec sighed, and rubbed his red eyes nonchalantly, as if too see better. But they both knew that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She greeted him relatively bright, and Declan couldn't help but notice she used his full name, something no one had done in a long time, at least in casual conversation. Forrest always called him Dec. It was like those things that never changed.

"soo, what have you been, up to..." She asked, and Dec immediately thought of his breakdown outside. He didn't want to tell her but his chest was still tight from it. He clanked his way around as she fixed herself a bow and arrows. Finally securing a bench, Dec sat down and brushed off his jeans and t-shirt. He drummed lightly on his legs, a habit of his ever since becoming blind four years ago. He found himself wondering what the other campers looked like, and had the most intense curiosity to ask, but he knew the knowledge would burden and make him sorrowful again, and that was the last thing he needed at a time like this. So Dec turned to the sound of the noise and spoke.

"Nothing much. Training, listening to the waves, getting lost." He didn't mention his blight or anything that could link into his past. He wasn't sure if he was stable enough to speak the story. Dec politely smiled and returned the question. "And what about you, Daughter of Apollo?" He exclaimed, motioning for her to sit on the bench with him.

Forrest watched Dec find a seat and situate himself before he replied. "Nothing much. Training, listening to the waves, getting lost." Forrest let out a small laugh at the remark and opened her mouth to speak, but she hastily silenced herself as Dec spoke as well. He asked the same question adding the fact that she had just been claimed. Forrest knew she was supposed to be pleased with this, however her face fell. 

She set her almost completed quiver on a nearby table and sat on the bench by Dec as he had gestured for her to do so. "You know pretty much the same thing..." She paused allowing herself time to think. "... I'm not really sure how to say this.. Er, do you ...like it here? Like, do you ever feel trapped?" she knew it sounded odd as soon as she said it, but she needed someone to talk to. The memory of her sister continued to taunt her and she just needed to let it out and get it off her chest. Silent tears began to slip down her cheeks. She was gracious that Dec wouldn't be able to see her, but she tried to stifel them in order to sustain her voice.

"Do I ever feel trapped?" Declan echoed, lost in thought. Dec couldn't really say he liked camp, he was more emotional here than ever before, like his ability to Steel himself was being drained away. Like today, his flashback. The nightmares of Gunshots and screaming, the weeping of a boy in the dark haunted him ever the more persistently now. And Dec didn't think he'd be free of it. THe memories were was permanent as his sight loss. He wasn't angry at his dad, just lost and hurt. So hurt by what had transgressed.

Dec realized that despite what had happened to him, it made Declan himself. And he did feel trapped. Like the little boy still cried out for his parents, ones that loved him more than drugs, more than beer, Dec felt strained and skewed beyond the point of repair. He felt weak, yet strong. He survived, but the scars of his soul were still not healed.


Dec sighed, and spoke. "I guess.." He started, unsure of how to word himself, "I feel trapped. THe past sinked so far down into me that I have nightmares. I want to go run. I feel trapped behind being blind, like the barrier is too high for people to overcome. THey can see the beauty of the world still, whilst I can't anymore." Declan looked straight ahead, his eyes blinking slowly. "I feel like little Dec is still screaming." He finished.

When she asked her question, Dec's skilled ears picked up the slight sniffle, the apprehension in her voice. It sounded like himself, at the moment. He sighed. Whatever he'd been through, she probably had it worse. Maybe I can help... Dec wondered, and he turned his head toward the girl. He gave a sad sort of half-smile, shuffled his feet a bit. He felt like a boy in school again.

"Is something the matter?" He asked, genuine concern sprouting in his words.

When Dec had echoed her, Forrest thought at first that he was mocking her. She opened her mouth sigh and say look, just forget it, but Dec let out a sighed and began to speak. "I guess..." Forrest eyed him not ready to assume what he was suggesting if there was anything to suggest. He seemed to have given a lot of thought to her simple question, but Forrest was still unsure what to think of it.

Forrest's thought's were scattered as Dec began to speak again. His words almost molded together to make something almost poetic sounding, but in an eerie way... They moved her way more than they assumed they should. "I.... I really don't know how to put this, but I feel like there is no escape out of here. Memories of my dying sister haunt me still. There is not a day that goes by without me thinking of her, of how we wouldn't have ran into those monsters if we hadn't come here.... I feel like I can't be out there alone, especially now that I have learned of the monsters, they will be even more of a risk to me. I don't think my dad is even looking out for me, if he is, he would be against me leaving. I want to escape the memories, the pain, but I can't...."

Forrest smiled, glad that at least someone was concerned. She felt weak and like she was begging for help, but she needed to tell someone, she could not keep it bottled up. She looked at him and knew Dec was experiencing something similar. If anything, they might be able to help each other.

Dec turned so he was facing where Forrest ought to be. What she had just said rang throughout his mind, invoking memories to flash back. He blinked them away. He hurt for Forrest, knowing she was hurt. Well, this is a first. He thought as he opened his eyes. Forrest had been through unspeakable pain, and had nightmares, as did he. both had finally found someone who understood. But both had to work through the pain. Dec thought that they might be able to help each other. Only if they opened up though.

“Hey, if it helps, I’m sorry about what happened to you. But I want to help you through it. I hate how I feel weak. If you fell that way, perhaps we could help each other.” Dec offered, smiling a bit before his face turned solemn. “But your going to have to tell me more. If you want to, that is. In return, I’ll tell you my story. But we have to trust each other.If you want to talk, I’m here to listen.” Dec finished. He suprised himself by offering his own tale, one that he had told no one before.

Dec held his hand out, an invitation to shake. He had no clue if Forrest would accept or not, but he had to try. His own hurt was masked by hers, and he just wanted both of them to get better. the Little Declan inside of him was hopeful.

Forrest knew he must be right. They had to help each other. She took a deep breath ready to say her story. She had not shared it with anyone, and this was a big step for her. "Just warning you it's a little long, so I'll give you the short but not too short version. I'll go over the main things etc. My sister and I were abandoned soon after I turned two I believe. My older sister was only a year older than me. She does not know if our parents flat out abandoned us, or if they died or whatever cruel thing befell upon them. But we were put in an orphanage. Soon after I turned seven, we were kicked out for some reason. I'm not sure what but I remember a huge man.... I guess the mist was covering him up."

"We were sent to a juvenile camp. Can you imagine a little seven and eight year old in a juvenile camp with kids twice the size of us? It was terrifying. We didn't have the strength to complete many of the tasks that were thrown at us, and so we had extra punishment every day. I'm pretty sure it's against the law, but the wiped us." Forrest shifted in her chair about to show Dec the scars on her back, but she looked up at him and felt horrible for her momentary mistake.

"After we could not take it any longer, we ran away. I was eight or nine when we did this... Ever since, we have lived on the streets, going from town to town, state to state, begging for food and shelter. Most would say it was a terrifying experience, but it actually wasn't that bad once you got used to it. However, we would run into the occasional monster here and there, but about a year ago, they came in large groups of 7 or larger and they followed us for years. Some mad man let us in his house and gave us our weapons." Forrest took out her trusty knife. "If you want, you can feel it..." The knife was Forrest's favorite possession, it was the only one of her things that she could not part with.

"Well, I assume he was a former demigod, but he pointed us this way.... I guess he did still have some of his wits... Anyway, we came here searching for shelter, but the monsters were expecting it. About twenty hell-hounds and one fury and some other monster that I can't even name trapped us in an ally." Tears streamed down Forrest's face, but she knew she had to go on. "The fury stabbed my sister in the stomach. She knew she was going to die, but she didn't tell me, because she knew I would die too. She made the fury disintegrate and then staggered to me. As we fought off a few hell-hounds she told me to come here. She told me she would meet me here and that I had to leave the last few monsters to her. She made me promise to go, and so I did. That night I slept under a dumpster to stay out of the cold. I knew in my gut that she wasn't alive. A satyr found me and brought me here. Emily wasn't here, and I knew the truth...."

Tears were now streaming uncontrollably from her face. She leaned her head on Dec happy that there was someone who was there for her.

Dec listened to Forrest's heart-wrenching story. She was a strong girl, thought she seemed to be at her weakest point, Dec never admired her more. for her to be able to live through that... It showed something about her. Dec was almost teary eyed at the story himself. For Emily to have loved her sister so much to send her away for safety, while she was dying, and for Forrest to trust her. Dec knew that he wouldn't of left if it were Forrest or if he had a sibling. He felt her head on his shoulder, shuddering from the tears streaming down her face, and felt guilty/ For forcing her to share, for making her relive what had torn her apart slowly everyday since. He only felt it fair that he share his story.

"First, Forrest, I want to say how incredibly sorry I am for you, if it makes any difference. I don't know how to word myself, it's like I can't speak what I mean. But I'm sorry that you went through that. Later, I want to ask you questions, but now is not the time. After I share, possibly." Declan stated, hinting at the fact that he was going to share. He took a deep breath, his blind eyes seeing the memories he was repressing. He took a deep breath, and held his hand out for Forrest to take, if she needed more support than his shoulder to give. And with that, he told his story.


"I lived in New York, you know, the bad parts where Cop cars meant gunshots and bodies falling out of windows. I remember seeing that." Dec acknowledged. He continued on. "My father..." He hesitated, but spoke. he had to tell someone. "Beat me. both parents were alcoholics, my dad worse than mum. He came home one night, so wasted that he was shaking a gun around at my mom. I tried to stop him but he took two bottles to my face, resulting in me being blind. The pain was so bad, crawled behind the couch, my mom had gotten away, and passed out from the intensity of the night. But I wasn't asleep for long."

Declan paused, the memories so vivid now that the screaming was in his ears, the darkness new again and overwhelming. He winced, but kept talking. This was the hard part, relating this one night was killing him inside. :I woke up to screaming. I was 11 at the time, and I had realized that I was blind now. I couldn't see anything when I woke up. but the screaming took my thoughts away. Dad was even angrier at Mum, for everything. He was High, and slurring. but I could tell this time was different. Because my mom stopped screaming, and started to whimper."

Dec squeezed his eyes shut, telling this next part did bring tears to his eyes." I loved my parents, as crooked as they were. They weren't even my real ones, but they took me in, Dad never let me forget it. but when I heard the click and the shots ring out, I bit my lip so hard as to not make a noise. I didn't want my dad finding me, thought I wanted to scream until my throat was sore. Mum, just gone like that." Dec snapped a finger. "I wanted to kill him, but he took care of that himself." Dec darkly finished.

"When the second gun shot went off, I heard him fall to the ground. I knew it was over. Both were dead. They took me away, the police did. Out of that little rank apartment and into an orphanage. I got my cane there." Dec added, as if it were important. " I was failing at school, it took years to learn braille, and the kids were less than friendly. But Joe showed up. Turns out he was a satyr, but I didn't know it at the time. He was in a wheelchair, and he was my only friend. But the monsters made sure he was the only one."

Dec opened his eyes then, familiar to the black, the darkness that surrounded him. "Hell hound attack, caught of o-off guard. Joe gave his life, and I ran. And look, here I am, the new kid at camp, except now I can protect myself. I don't want anyone risking themselves for me anymore. I'm not someone whose worth saving anymore." Dec finished, and tapped on his his leg. A single tear streamed down his face, but telling the story, as painful as it was to speak, gave him a sense of...completion. He felt as though a great weight had been taken off him, but Dec knew an even greater one he had acquired. One that ate at him everyday.

Forrest listened to Dec's every word, yearning for help. Forrest hated seeing herself in this state. She felt weak, she felt the tears on her cheeks, she never ever cried in public... until her sister died...

Dec held out his hand, ready to begin. Forrest took it and looked up at him, ready to find out about the mystery before her. He told his story so well, that Forrest felt like she was there, witnessing it herself. The tears still came, she felt horrible for him. When it was over, Forrest seemed to be aware of her surroundings for what seemed like the first time. She realized that her hand was covering her mouth in shock.

She gave him a supportive hug. She didn't really know what to say... she felt like she was relieved of a burden. Sharing her messed up story with someone who could share the feeling back. "I'm... so, so sorry. But it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could do about it." She looked directly at him and hoped he could feel her stare. "If you tried to help, the three of you would be dead... I know I've wanted to be dead many times, and if you ever did too, do not think you had no purpose here...." Forrest recalled the many times when she had contemplated suicide. She had thought that she had no purpose on earth, only to be hurt by those she loved...

"You belong here.... If you were not here for me, I... I do not know if I would even be alive." For what seemed like the first time ever, Forrest realized that maybe going to camp wasn't the worst thing imaginable. Here she would be able to pull her life back together. With help, she could become more of a person than she had ever been.

She took a deep breath and knew she had to forget her sister and not dwell in the past. She knew she would never be able to, but it was a start. "...So, what do you say, lets help each other out."

By now, all of her tears were gone. Deep sadness still filled her, but there was something else.... Something that had never been there before: hope.

"You belong here.... If you were not here for me, I... I do not know if I would even be alive." Forrest acknowledged, and Declan nodded silently, squeezing her hand. His mouth seemed to not want to process what his head wanted it too, but he wasn't sure if Forrest would be able to follow all the turmoil that was rolling in his thoughts. He hadn't talked about anything that had happened in his past to anyone, yet, here he was sharing his whole freakin' life story with a girl who had quickly become his best friend.

Forrest's words made Dec feel...loved, or something of that nature. Which, was alien to him, since he hadn't felt that way since..well, before the gun. But forrest's words also scared him. SHe had said that she didn't know if she'd be alive! Declan understood why she felt so lost, so hurt, but it scared him. and he had even contemplated suicide once! Declan now felt like he had to..do something to keep Forrest feeling...alive. Protector wasn't the right word, but he couldn't think of the name of the job that he was undertaking. but Dec took it, in all it's glory, because he was scared of losing Forrest, the only person who has ever known the full out truth, well, almost all of it. Somethings were too scarred and twisted to ever share.

When his thoughts finally slowed down enough to make a sentence or two, he tried to speak up, and to answer Forrest's statement/question thing. "Y-Yeah. Let's." Dec simply stated, thinking about what on earth he was going to say. More than anything, he wanted to hear more about what happened Forrest, but he knew that healing could be a two-way street. He had to forgive and...well, not forget, because he lived with the results of what happened everyday. HE could still feel the impact of the glass smashing his skin, and having them all get pulled out. Declan knew he could never forget, but maybe, with her help, he could forgive. Even forgive himself.

"If you don't mind me asking...what was your sister like?"

Dec seemed to contemplate her statement much more than she seemed right. She felt like he would find flaws in it, ones even unimaginable. Something seemed much different, she did not know how to place it, but she felt like Dec was the only other person who had ever understood what she had gone through... besides her sister. Her thought's were scattered as Dec said, "y-yeah. Let's."
Confused, Forrest said, "excuse me?"

After asked his last question, Forrest sighed and said, "she was anything a person could ask for. Most siblings fight amongst themselves... well, Emily and I had a bond so great that sometimes I could even read her mind. No matter how many dire situations we were forced in, she always knew how to cheer me up after it, or she she knew how to make me laugh." Forrest paused remembering the joyous sound of her laugh. "She always knew what was best for her... and me. Even when we were forced upon the impassible tasks set before us at the juvenile camp, she would always assure me that everything was going to be all right. I meant the world to her... And she meant the world to me. On the streets, we met up with some other people, traveled with them for a little while... they got her into marijuana. It was turning her into one of them. She had lost her spirit, she had forgotten what was right for her. But I couldn't stand seeing her like that. I hid it form her, and I would talk to her every day, saying the same words that she had used to comfort me so many times. Temptation took me many times though... I had always wondered what it was like, how she would come crawling to me telling me how good it tasted, drawing me in. But I guess we nursed each other back to health... I don't know what would have happened to me if she hadn't been there for me."

She paused letting the words sink in, letting them sink in herself, she had not spoken of that instant to anyone, sometimes it still haunted her.. "well, what about you, what was your mother like?"

Declan was startled by her question. His mother? What was she really like. Declan hadn't seriously thought of just his mother in a long time. THe visions of his father were always looming near, to big and omnipresent to really let him focus on anything else. THat and living in fear and silent resistance at the same time had not given him much time to think about his mother, the only person he knew who might've known his dad before the booze and drugs. But then again, she did some things too. He gripped his cane with his other hand. Tightly.

"My mother, " Declan started, unsure of what to say first, and how to say it, so he decided to be blunt. "My mother was a user. Not alot, but just enough to take away the edge of my dad. Or at least, I hope that was it. SHe wasn't exactly clear. She wasn't nearly as bad as my father. But she did shake me a time or two, forgot to pick me up, little things like that. But she never meant to hurt me. He did. She'd be the one to console me after a particularly harsh beating or belt. I have the scars on my back to prove it. But at least she cared. She'd the only parent who has ever cared. Or adult in my life really. Not the people at the group home, not the teachers. No one. Mom was my savior, then my dad shot her. THen himself. He was to drunk to see the pain in her eyes. She was too far gone to see the regret in his. "

Declan was shaking by this point again, not because he was cold, but the remembering was physically wearing him down. He had trained so he would not feel this fatigue, but the emotional weights he had been caring seemed way to strenuous to hold onto much longer. He was bound to collapse, and today seemed to be it. "T-that's it. That is my m-mom. But she's in the past now, I don't need to remember what has already happened. It feels like such a burden to carry it, let alone talk about it." Declan silently said, his voice quiet but strong.

Forrest almost regretted her words after she had spoken them. She had not expected Dec to be so taken aback by the question. She felt really bad when she saw his tention, she wished she could take it back. However hard it was for her to talk about her sister, it must have been just as hard for him. "My mother," He began. He took an agonizingly long pause, that Forrest even opened her mouth, ready to say you know what, forget it, it's cool. However Dec began. For a split second, Forrest debated whether or not to still say this, but in the end, she decided it best not to distract him.

When Dec finished, Forrest felt even worse for him. She could not help but think of her possible mother ...wherever she may be. Every once in a while, Forrest would reasure herself that her mother had to be alive, but she knew it was all in her head, there was no way it could be true. Forrest squeezed his hand and wispered, "I'm sorry... but... you and me, we're going to make it through this." She hesitated before saying the last bit. It almost sounded childish and alien. But she said even more confidentally, "I believe in you." A single tear escaped her eyelid and she hoped it would be one of the last for a while. She wanted to say more but could think of nothing. She could not help but feel stupid for saying this, but she brought herself to utter the most lame and annoying statement that was supposed to help start a conversation by casually letting the other person begin, because you could think of nothing. "So..."

((I havn't rp'ed in a little while so I'm a little museless -_-))

Dec smiled at her words, for they brought a little hope to him. Perhaps, he could just get through this camp and live a normal life. He knew it was near impossible, but a reality without imagination was worth living in. Though, somethings should not be left to the imagination. Dec shrugged a bit, before returning the words. "And I, you." He simply said. Declan thought more about his mother, and what life would be like now, if she were alive. Would she have quit her drugs, controlling the sickness that had a part in her killing? Or one night, would she kill herself too? The 'what ifs' were too vast, and Dec's head swarmed with the thoguhts. But they didn't matter, his mom wasn't coming back. but neither was his dad.

Lost in the thoughts of times past, Dec only barely heard Forrest speaking. "So..." She casually said, and BAM! Declan was tossed back into reality. "So, its all right. She wasn't my real mother, I was a foster child. Somewhere, I might have a normal parent, or maybe....not so normal." Declan slowly said, tilting his head up a little before running a hand through his hair. "WHat I don't need is pity. What happened happened, and I wouldn't be me without it. Besides, being blind isn't bad, just something that makes me....unique. And now, I don't have to rely on sight. I hear voices and judge winds. Take this old cane and beat it around to find my way. I can even fight well. My foster dad gave me a gift, by taking one away." Declan paused, tot take a breathe, and look at Forrest.

" And I don't want to have my sight....well, maybe a little. It would be different you know, not seeing anything but darkness for such a long time and then bam! Faces to go with voices, things I never would've guessed. I like leaving it up to my imagination, most of the time. I wonder, what it would be like to see faces though. See if my mind is imagination is good at this guessing game of life. But I can live without. Voices are much better, in my opinion." Declan finished, giving some sort of half-smile. Declan remembered how Forrest believed in him, and he wondered if she would still feel that way if she knew everything about him. He didn't expect her to. He expected no one to.

((my muse has left me and I apologize.... I'm dreadfully sorry it took a while!))

Forrest stared off into space thinking about her words, how she truly meant them.... "And I, you." Forrest heard in the back of her brain, she slowely turned and it only took her a moment to realize the truth in those simple words. She let a small smile escape her lips and she realized that it would never be seen. 

After her next small comment, Dec gave her an answer that she was not expecting. She knew it was true, but it was still very humbeling to her. How he could just flat out say that it didn't bother him. Forrest stared him down for a few seconds to determine whether or not he was telling the truth. He paused and looked at her almost as if he could tell what she was thinking. He then went on and said something that spurred a question. The more it burrowed into her mind, the more Forrest was curious about the answer. She took in a breath, then hesitantely said ,"do you? ...You don't have to give me an answer, but I'm curious ... Even though you can't see me, you still picture me in your imagination right? Well..." She shuffled her feet and said slightely quieter "what do you think I look like..." 

She did not mean for it to be an awkward or personal question, but as she said it, she realized how it could be taken to an extent and become quite awkward. She looked back at the mysterious boy for she truly was curious for his answer. What hair color he would associate with her, did she sound or seem kind? ....depressed? She knew that she did often sound depressed and put down, but from when she was a child, she had tried to conceal it ...conceal her weaknesses.

Declan echoed her. "What do I think you look like?" He asked himself. Declan should've known that she would ask. He practically egged her on to do it with his words. Part of him wanted to let her know, share his thoughts. The other wanted to keep them, for fear of being rejected and hurt. The two emotions were rubbing together like Kronos and Zeus themselves, and Declan didn't know what to pick. so he sat there for a minute, letting himself be overwhelmed before he saw a path clearing in his mind. He just hoped that it was the right one.

"Well," Declan started, unsure himself of what to say. "It's hard to put a face on your voice, but at the same time it's easy. Like your eyes. I may not know the color, but I would think that they are thoughtful eyes, ones that can brim with understanding, but hold a fire of there own when need be. Eyes that would draw me in, could I see them. They've seen a lot, and could seem cold from time to time." Declan stopped, and looked over toward forrest, cupping his own hands in his lap. Declan had a slight smile on his lips.

"I imagine your nose, if it hasn't been broken before," His smile grew a bit wider, "to be petite, slightly upturned at the end, cute-esque." Declan reached up and felt his face, knowing full well that he looked odd doing so but he needed a face structure to clearly see his descriptions on. "Perhaps you have high cheekbones, but I could not tell without actually feeling your face." Declan rested his hands down again, and closed his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he continued. " I imagine your hair short, but not terribly so. I have not the slightest inkling why, but I do. Hair color is lost on me too, but if I had to guess, perhaps a light brunette?" He raised an eyebrow, and opened his eyes to nothingness. "In my mind you don't have curly hair, I can't see it on you." He added. Declan did a visual recount. Hair, eyes, nose, cheek... sort of. He didn't feel like telling about her mouth, that just seemed too awkward. Well, that plus the fact that he had no clue what it was like.

But he needed to address one more thing. "Your voice," Declan started, and he had put an unintentional pause in there, trying to word his thoughts right. "Your voice is strength, it is hurt. Your voice is bravery and forgiveness and solitude all rolled into one. Forrest, your voice, the way you talk, makes me say more than I ever intend to share, likes its helping me work through things. Your voice is the essence of you, Forrest." Declan finished, hoping what he did, and didn't say would have an effect on her.

Forrest looked at him eager for an answer, however she did not know if she would like it. However, she would not be offended if the answer was way off or ..offending.

After a moments thought, Declan began with her eyes. Forrest was not expecting something that deep, but it pleased her, he did not say a color, but that was all the better because they often switched from a green to a blue and sometimes even a grey. She had never thought of her eyes the way he put them, but Forrest was pleased with his answer.

After this, he moved on to her nose, she wasn't expecting much, but what he said made her hand jump to her face and her mouth go slightly open. She felt her nose at first not pleased with the answer but then she sighed, nobody's nose was perfect. He went on to her cheekbones, she wasn't expecting much and it didn't offend her. He then said he couldn't tell without feeling her face. Forrest was expecting him to say this at one point and it wasn't as awkward as she assumed it would be.

He nailed her hair length and that it was strait. Come to think of it, Forrest could not think of what her hair would look like curly either. However, he said light brunette. She definitely had blond in her hair. Where the light had hit it most, it was very blond, however, when she wore it in a ponytail or a braid where the less revealed hairs come out, there is definitely some brown in it. He didn't say anything else about her general looks which did not surprise Forrest.I mean, it's not like he would be able to tell how tall she was ...unless she had small dog syndrome.

When he went on and finished up with her voice, this touched her the most. She wasn't the most pleased with it, but she knew it was the most accurate ...except forgiving. She had never been told she was forgiving, rarely brutal though. She looked up at him unsure what to say. After a quiet pause Forrest said , "that was ...unreal." She suprised even herself by what she was saying. "To hear a completely different point of view of ...me. When you don't even know what I look like." She had never heard anyone put that much thought into it. She knew she had grown up on the streets and was tossed around so she was fairly built, and probably grubby but not in a bad way. She had been called pretty before, but she never thought of herself that way. I mean, she was nothing compared to an Aphrodite girl...

She wondered if Dec would want a correction. If he would like to know her real eye color. She did not know why she had put all her trust in this boy, but she knew she had made the right choice.

Declan had finished, and he drank in her thoughts, wondering whether or not she had been offended. He had heard a sort of gasp and sigh thing going on earlier, but he knew that he was bound to get something wrong. He shrugged inwardly, trying to brush it off, but it didn't want to let go. Declan hated disappointing people. Even his brute of a dad. Even though he was 'disabled' and he knew that he would be in the wrong sometimes, it still felt like an inconvenience, though Declan tried not to let others in on this weird way of thinking. No, his mind was a far-out place, on that others would probably not like to enter.

"So, y-you know how I described you..." Declan started, surprising himself, for he had just randomly started talking. Apparently his heart knew what he wanted to say before he did, or, at least his mouth. "Mind telling me how far off I was?" He finished, a somewhat hopeful look in his unseeing eyes.

Declan tapped on his cane a little bit, wondering absentmindedly how Forrest saw him. After all, she could describe him better, well, physically, than he probably could. Dec hadn't seen his hands or anything for 4 years. Things had probably changed. Like the calluses on his hands from the rough wood, or minor cuts on his arms from bushes or other unseen obstacles. Or the knife scar on his hip, curtesy of his beloved father. Did these people with seeing eyes notice those things? Or was it the careful touches of a blind person that could tell? Perhaps it was only things that the actual human would know himself. And Declan wanted to know what he looked like. After all, he was curious, and he was only human. A blind one.

"O-or," He stuttered, but pushed on, "You could tell me what I look like. After all, your the one with eyes." Declan said with a sort of half-grin on his face to ease the joke. He could make jokes at his expense, though he had not done so for years. It seemed like Forrest was dredging up all sorts of long forgotten memories and emotions. And it was all for the good.....wasn't it? Declan could hope.

After a small silence, Dec asked her how far off he was. Sighing Forrest said, "not ad actually! er... lets see." She had never thought of her eyes that way, and she didn't know what to say to it, but she went with. "Their blue... my eyes are a blueish green, it's hard to explain, but they occasionally change to a fainter blue or a brighter green, sometimes their even grey. I don't know why, maybe it's the light maybe it's my mood, I'm not sure. Er, I think everything else was pretty close except my hair is a bit lighter. It's a definite blonde, close to your color actually ...if you remember it..." She didn't know what else to say, so she simply left it at that.

Forrest took in a deep breath knowing what was going to happen next. A small piece of hair went into her line of vision, however, unlike casually brushing it away, she left it and let it bother her, distract her.

Finally, Dec spoke, "O-or... You could tell me what I look like. After all, your the one with eyes."
Forrest absentmindedly nodded knowing this would happen. She decided to begin where Dec did. "Your eyes are a faint blue, they are knowing, honest and almost a little meloncoly. But... they also suggest that there is something else there that is hidden. At first glance one would not tell you are ..blind." She hesitated slightly before saying the word hoping it wouldn't strike a nerve. "Actually to me, what gave you away is your cane, which is actually pretty beast. You are unlike most people in that way, if they are like you, their eyes are often murky, and putt-off-ish."

Since she began at the same part, she decided to continue in the same spot as well. "Your nose, well... to me a nose is a nose, I don't pay any real attention to it unless it is abnormally large or weird looking, yours is neither of which, so that is a good thing, in this situation, if I don't say much about it it's a good thing. Let's see, your cheekbones aren't to high or too low, their pretty normal. And your hair. It is blonde with a few brown specs here and there. Oh and your pretty tall, not too much maybe 4 to 5 inches taller than me..."

Deciding it best to finish with his voice as he did for her she said one last thing. "I suppose you can hear your own voice, but from the perspective of another person, your voice determines your character. From someone who is not an open book, I could tell that I could trust you from your voice. Like your eyes, it is very learned, however it's sad, pained, yet hopeful. It suggests your kind and protective, and it's strong."

She broke off here and let him ponder her words. She felt because she felt her description wasn't enough, she felt like she left something out but she couldn't think of what. She looked up at him grateful that he was there.

Declan felt himself getting more withdrawn and tighter as her words continued on. It was a mistake to ask her, a mistake to get this attached to any person again. AFter all, in the end, someone would be hurting. Declan didn't want her to be the one. No, it has to be him. But Declan couldn't just blow off the one person who was actually treating him, well, nice. Like he wasn't that different. After all, they were helping each other. But waves of guilt were crashing over Dec, like a tsunami was knocking him down, again and again. Each blow stronger than the previous. He sat there for a moment, feeling her gaze on him. A sentence snagged in his mind, one that replayed over and over. I could tell that I could trust you from your voice. Forrest had said.

A lump had risen in his throat, and Declan felt as though he was craving fresh air, but he wanted to stay with Forrest. Declan wasn't a quitter, and he honestly wanted to help, and to be helped, a notion that had not been offered to him in the past. She had said that he was kind and protective. He didn't seem kind to himself, but he could see protective. After all, he wanted to protect people, it seemed like a duty that he carried, but mostly people tended to not like it. After all, who wants a blind kid 'protecting' them? Not very many. But Declan digressed.

"Thank-you....It's...nice to see how my brain works compared to others. But it seems that your words are a little, off. "Declan smiled a bit, and stood up. After all, he thought best vertical. He put some weight on his cane, making him out as an old man against the dusty lights of the armory. Turning around, he faced Forrest, and raised a hand in-between them. "You see my hand, I see an 11-year-old hand, because its the last I saw. You see a scarred wrist, I feel a time of hopelessness. You see a pale headed, blue-eyed teen, with a cane. You know what I see? I see a scared, scrawny little kid, standing in the midst of chaos. We see different things, and that leads to different perceptions." Declan paused, and lowered his head. He didn't know if she comprehended, but he didn't really completely understand until he was explaining it, so he continued on.

"You think these things about me, and I you, both now knowing how wrong or right we really are. Forrest, you see the eyes of a supposed survivor, I see the eyes of a broken teen, a failure. Isn't it funny how the human mind works? One thought can affect all the others, like Galileo or Newton. And soon you can finds you words...having an affect on a person, one not desired. Soon your changing yourself, changing everything just to correct this person's view, when it turns out , that you don't even know who is right anymore." Declan sighed, he was just confusing himself more."

"I guess, " Declan came over to the bench, but he didn't sit down. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, your opinion and mine can never be the same, and I feel like I can't change to fit yours. After all, we don't know which is true. But what I ask of you is this. Don't judge me, for I'll take it to heart. its like my fatal flaw, besides a mean temper when provoked. " Declan smiled a bit a that, a sad sort of half smile.

"I can't tell you that I'm trustworthy. My past certainly won't vouch for it, that's for sure. I just need to warn you. The quiet kids hold the most secrets, and the blind kids more. I've done things I'm not proud of, but I'm working, even today I'm getting better. I just...I just don't want you to be as shocked when things come to light. " Declan shook his head. "No, that was wrong, I want you to be shocked, to completely rid yourself of me, because honestly, I'm not good enough for you. Its complicated, and I must sound completely insane, but I'm just trying to help you understand that, I'm not who I'm cracked up to be, if I'm cracked up to be anything at all these days."

Declan sighed, his unseeing eyes looking down to where Forrest was. "When I'm gone, which I will be, one day, I need to be a fuzzy memory that you can't quite recall. And that day, I don't know when it will come, but I can't make friends if it mean you guys pay when I leave. It just gives me more ammunition against myself. I already have enough of that." Declan closed his eyes, hand gripping cane until the knuckles were white. THat was the most he had revealed to anyone. Anyone. Declan just hoped that didn't make a mistake, making himself so vulnerable.

Dec was taking a while to digest her at first she thought he was just disappointed, but it didn't take long to realize there was something much more... After a long pause, he began with this. "Thank-you....It's...nice to see how my brain works compared to others. But it seems that your words are a little, off." Forrest studied him for answers, where is he going with this? She thought over and over again. He talked about how he saw the hands of an 11 year old and Forrest understood what he was talking about. Then he went on to the scars on his wrist. Forrest felt a pang of guilt and she looked at her wrists. Scarred in many places, one of the cuts was still red, cut less than a week ago.

"I have those too." Forrest said quietly, but she knew it would be heard. Knowing full well Dec would not be able to see them, she raised her arms in th air as if reminding herself what she had become. Memories flooded through her mind. How now it is so painless even effortless to vent her anger through slashing her wrist open... Then before she could stop it, she saw her sister, much younger, sitting across from her in the meadow. Forrest reached out to touch her, but then the image flickered and showed she was still in the room with Dec. The image came back and Forrest realized this was when they made the vow.Her sister was 9ish, she was around seven. They had bound together holly, oak, and ash branches and all they had to do was seal it with blood. But it was so hard for the two to draw blood. They would dig in a thorn, yelp in pain then draw it out and start laughing again. But it was never enough to get a single drop of blood. After about 15 minutes of this Forrest discovered a slice of dead skin on her finger. She tore it of, sustained from letting herself yelp and she allowed a drop of her blood to land on the assortment of branches. Her sister eventually got a drop of her blood on too. They vowed to always be there for each other.... and ... the meadow disappeared and she was in the armory with Dec again. silent tears ran down her cheeks.

At this point, Dec was saying something or other about Newton and Galileo, and by the time he paused again, Forrest knew he was right. He began again and Forrest reached out to him but pulled her hand back. "I... I felt the same way. How can my eyes 'brim with understanding'? I don't even know why I am still here, I don't even know myself." At first when she said here, she was referring to camp, then she began to wonder if she was referring to the world... She also thought back wondering how on earth her voice could be forgiving especially when she got in a fight with a vast majority of people she met on her first encounter. She knew he was right. He understood her differently than anyone else, he heard her, thought of her in a different way.

Now Dec was talking to her about being shocked and not being shocked and she couldn't help but be confused. However, he summed it up with this: "When I'm gone, which I will be, one day, I need to be a fuzzy memory that you can't quite recall. And that day, I don't know when it will come, but I can't make friends if it mean you guys pay when I leave. It just gives me more ammunition against myself. I already have enough of that."

Taken aback Forrest just stared at him not knowing how to react, what to say. Until finally three words escaped her lips "it's too late." They were only a whisper but she knew they were true. Only slightly louder, still barely audible, Forrest said it again. "It's too late." Then something else formed in her mind. Run away with me. The thought even suprised herself. It would be so easy, you, me, we can both fight off monsters easy, I want to get out of here. Somehow, Forrest saw herself telling Dec to sprint, there was nothing in his way. Then her shouting 'now turn slightly to your right.' The three harmless words trying to escape her lips, but she wouldn't let them, she knew it would probably upset Dec and deep down, she knew it would fail. Lets run away faded back into her memory and she wished the thought had never sprung to mind.

Forrest looked once more up at Declan and allowed herself to say something more, "I can't do this."

((Short, but muse providing post.))

((Has to be one of my favorite threads ever.))

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Declan hardly realized that he was still standing up, but apparently his body did, because he took a step closer to the bench before he realized what he was actually doing. Declan stopped, and hesitantly reached a hand out to Forrest, leaning on his staff/cane The head attachments were interchangeable. If she stood up, and took his hand, or even if she didn’t, he was still going to show her one of his main reasons why people couldn’t be near him. He was slightly shaking, but that was due to exhaustion, from the day’s events.

“ I know that monsters are drawn to demigods, but for some reason, just horrid things happen around me. Or to me, its...it’s hard to explain, but i have proof. And I’m not crazy.” Declan added, because he knew that he already seemed crazed, after the days events. Today just wasn’t his day, or this year really. Declan reached his other hand up, and pulled the collar down around his neck. Declan frowned, and swept his hand over the jagged crescent shaped scar on his back, a cruel reminder, not unlike the sound of a gunshot to his ears.

Declan shuddered, a memory making its way back before he had time to shove it aside, along with feeligns and emotions best left forgotten. It came in flashes. He saw black, then a belt coming down, then black again. An image of his satyr friend popped into view, a smile moments before disaster. One image meshed into the next, his mom’s smile, the belt, a beer bottle, a scream, blood, the cane, his home. It was simply just overloading his mind, his thoughts. Declan dropped his hand, hoping that it would somehow stop the current of memories flashing back. IT was just like earlier that day, but about 10x worse. Declan only had time to open his eyes and whisper one word before he too went sailing towards the ground. “Enough.” He told himself, the crash of his impact against the hard floor only seconds after.

The last thing Declan saw before the crash was a sad smile on his foster mother's face.
Then darkness greeted him, this time inside his mind.

((yeah, me too, I'm basically forcing my muse to come today... Same!))

Taking a step forward, Declan held out his hand to Forrest. She was a little confused at first why he was doing this, but she took it anyway. She stood up next to him and braced herself to what he was going to say next.

“I know that monsters are drawn to demigods, but for some reason, just horrid things happen around me. Or to me, its...it’s hard to explain, but i have proof. And I’m not crazy.” Forrest was starting to get really annoyed. Her life had been almost as difficult and now he was trying to push her away in her time of need. And she knew that he probably needed her too even if he didn't admit it.

Now he was showing her the scar he had acquired on his back. Anger began to blare and Forrest couldn't help but shout a little. "You think that I haven't been through that?! I have matching scars except thinning and all the way up my back from the whipping I was submitted to! You think that you can just tell me these things and then poof your gone and I'll act like nothing happened? No offence, but it's a little to late for that." At the end she calmed her voice. She didn't want to drive him out, not now. Just the idea of him leaving now made her sad. The regret she would feel when he left, how keen he would be next time they talked. She regretted shouting at him. And he was the first person she had ever regretted shouting at besides her sister... No, from this moment on, she knew that she needed Dec, more than she had assumed before.

Then before she knew it, Dec was falling on the ground. At first she thought he had lost his balance, but then it seemed like something more. It looked like he was about to black out. "Infirmary?" she asked weakly. She knew that she never wanted to step foot in there again. She hated even the idea of the place. She didn't know if he did too, but she just hoped she could do something to help him.

She grabbed his arms and attempted to lift him. Her sword trained arms were strong, but she didn't know if she could carry him the whole way. She called upon her father, praying to him for the first time in her life. Hey... dad. I know we don't talk much, but I really need your help on this one. I have never even tried to tap into my healing powers before, but I really need it right now. Just please give me guidance and please, I don't want any other bad things to happen to him. He's had enough of that to last him a lifetime.

((just pm me, if I should add something, if you don't have anything to reply too...))