The Rant Thread (Happy, Sad, or Angry)

Yay!!!!!!!!! Gives round of applause

well.... I improvised

why thank you

bleh. I still don't have any muse :/

Okay so this is so off topic, but:

Akilina: You're a Wiccan? :] <3 They're so cool~ My mom has like three books on them.

Astra: :\ That must suck though. My mom totally loves all sorts of magic, she even reads tarrot cards. I have my own set too. Once I had a friend come over and she saw them . . . . . let's just say she called her mom and her mom came to pick her up XD

Right now... I feel bad about myself. Again.
Because for NO reason (well, actually something but it was very, very trivial) I just started crying randomly earlier. I don't know why. >.< I don't know if I'm just immature or if there's something actually wrong with me... >.> maybe I'm just weird.

I'm sorry Astra ):

If it makes you feel any better I had a break down in front of my swim team today...That was NOT fun...

MY LIFE IS SO FU.... MESSED UP!!! I don't know how to explain it, but it needs to go die in a hole

aw, I dont want your life to die in a hole

(may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!)0.0

Under normal circumstances I would laugh, but laugh is not something I am capable of doing right now.... It's that bad, I didn't even smile

Forrest, breath, it's going to be ok, I promise.

((for those of you who don't know, Forrest and Ash are my best friends, so that's not meant to be a creepy comment))

OK, so yesterday I had State for Marching Band. We had to march our show twice: once for Prelims, and once for Finials. So we got into Finials, so whoo-hoo watever, it happenes every year. So afterwards, it was our BEST run of the season. The people in the stands where going crazy! Even people who were rooting for otehr schools thought that we would win. And everyone form the band was so freaking excited; I was sure that we were gonna get at least third.

So after Forman preforms their Expedition, all the finialists march out on to the field, and we stand there for like 10 mineuts waiting for them to announce the results. Lexington High School Cat Band(This would be and the other 160-something people in said band.) got 6th place. Half the band broke down crying, especially the seniors because for the last four years, we've gotten 6th EVERY TIME.

And then our 'arch-enemy' band, Wando got first. Sure their fans were excited, but they were all wandering how the hell they got first.

So, my point is it that the Cat Band was robbed. I mean three of the judges put us in 3rd! THIRD!! But two idiots put us in 8th(which is dead last). I swear they HAD to be blind and deaf to have given us 8th.

So yea...that's about it...I'm good...

Rant: if I said that I feel like I'm living in a Linkin Park song, would you know what this rant means?
But literally, I know TONS of people have said things like this before... but honestly, I know exactly what those lyrics are talking about. I know, cliche pop music, but really. Crawling, Faint and Numb. Especially the last two. I could elaborate, but I don't want to.

I know this is double posting but...
Okay so this may end up being severely pg13, not sure.
Anyway so my parents just got divorced which doesn't pertain to this rant but is just like one more thing... so I feel like I'm a failure. At everything. I hate everyone I know and I can't talk to people cause they're so... so... human? Because all of humanity utterly disgusts me (yes, especially myself) with... their selfishness and hate and I totally just sounded like a hypocryte but its true. I hate myself because I know I'm going to hurt everyone and I can't help it and I hate everyone else for being so hurtable... I don't want to say why just yet, not even online to you guys. It's because I'm different, that's why. Probably a few of you understand now but it makes everything so fucking hard to deal with! I keep wanting to throw something or hurt someone or just die so nobody gets hurt because everyone is a hater and they pretend they're not... but it's true. And its been over the past couple days that it's been getting harder and harder to deal and I'm quasi-glad that my mother keeps sharp objects far away because if anyone didn't know or probably didn't want to know I've been involved in SIB for almost a year now and tried to stop so many times i don't even remember... it really is addictive. And I keep trying to... i dunno. My family has a history of mental disorders but my mother thinks they're all a facade. I don't know how she'd react if i told her everything... everyone I know would be so angry and upset that I feel like I'd be better off dead. I feel like that a lot. But I know that if I did fo something major (oksy I don't want to say commit suicide but that's what i mean) I'd just be an object lesson or a statistic.
I would go on but I'd rather not. If you read all that, thanks.

Double posts are okay in this thread just because we can't limit the number of times someone feels the need to rant. :]

-OMNOMSNUGGLOMPS- No matter what you are or how you feel Davey/Astra, I will always love you as my Athenian brother no matter what, even if you hate me. <3

I can't say I completely understand and I'm pretty darn sure that I wasn't quite as severe, but before Friday I had felt the same way for a couple of weeks, but I just tried to keep quiet about it because I thought nobody would care.

Anyways. If you ever want to rant more, but feel it's too personal or whatever, I'm here for you to PM. If you need someone to just talk to, I'm here. :]

Aw Astra! I promise, from the time I was 11 to 15, I felt that exact same pressure. I didn't want to hurt myself or anything though. I couldn't ha. I'm a wiener, ya know. I cry when I have to get a shot. But, I felt like everyone was against me and the world would be better off without me. My own sister and brother use to tell me how ugly, stupid, and worthless I was. I still have a complex about it today but it's not as bad.

What kept me away from doing anything extreme was the fact I believe in God. I could never end my own life. I'm here for a reason and if that reason is to help someone then I have to stay alive for that, no matter who or what. I use to wish the lord would just take me away or rewrite history where I was never born. I know the hurt. I would literally cry myself to sleep every night. I eventually stopped wasting my breath telling my family how I felt because they never listened. I had to learn how to live alone. I became totally isolated from everyone. I never let anyone in. That's lonely though. I never wanted to be lonely. Then a number of wonderful relationships blossomed. All too quickly they were over though. I vowed I would live alone for the rest of my life. Then I met Blake. I'm happy now but I still get dwon sometimes. I can't think about not wanting to be here because I now have someone to live for. Not only him though, I have a tiny dog that is practically my baby. I could never leave him alone.

So what I'm saying is, find that anchor. Tie yourself to it and live for them. But not just for them. Live for yourself. Think about all the wonderful things you can accomplish once you leave your parents and start your career. You could be anything you want to be.

The anchor helps, it really does.

I know how you feel as well when I was younger I was depressed for 2 years. No one knows the real reason why it just ...happened. Then, for two years, I was never cometely healed, but I was happier. I learned to laugh again ...to eat again, I realized that I actually had a life to live and people that loved me. I would occasionally have a day when I couldn't stand it and I hurt myself. But ut was a lot better ....until I moved. Then I started closing up again. I have friends, but they often avoid me because of the dreadful state I'm in. They try to be there for me, but it doesn't seem to be helping.... I often slip in and out of depression. I have almost all the symtpoms, and I also have almost all the symptoms of bipolar disease. No matter what they say, I'm rejected, this place is a trap, drawing me in only defeat me. Yes, I believe in god but that doesn't stop me, it can't stop me. I don't know what to do with myself I often comptemplate why I'm even here if my life is worth living... Someone saying "it's unhealthy, stop" is nit going to make any impact at all, sometime people just need to see reason. I may be bad, but there is a chance you are worse. Even if I don't know the full extent of your pain, I know what it feels like. I know you don't want to hear this and I'm a bloody hypocrite, just I can't bear to see people in a state similar to mine. I can try to help if you allow me... But I understand
sad thing is, I think the anchor thing is what's kept me alive, but even that's failings I need to find something or someone stronger...

I cannot believe that there is no force that can stop your actions. You are the only one allowing yourself to do this to yourself. I 'know' how bad, how terrible some situations can be. I will not say sorry for tough love though. In a lot of cases, it is needed. There is always a way out even if you can't see it. No problem is too big. I promise you that. God would not allow anyone to go through something that they can't handle. By handle I mean either deal with or get out. Life is too precious to compromise. I would stake my own life on that truth.

I know I sound harsh or dramatic but whether you 'want' to believe it or not, deep down, you know it's true.

No, I know it's true I'm not going to deny it, but all I know for certain us I cannot do this alone. I think rashly by myself, maybe I need to center my thoughts around something new... This is probably confusing, but I'm going to find a way out of this mess of my life.

Sounds good. We all are 100% behind you! Everyone needs someone to talk to sometime just to vent. I'm a pretty good listener if you need one. I'll be there for you. I'm sure everyone else here would be as well. All I can say is, be strong and don't forget about faith and prayer. I'll be praying for ya.

Tori, I thought things were getting better now?

Sort of....... It's not as frequent.....

Okay I'm going to stop spamming now

Right well it's my rant time:

I just joined this really helpful research kind site, and I put ONE word in caps (like that) and I was banned from the site. I can't message people, post in the chatbox or the forums. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HAPPENED.
The rule was that you can't use excessive capital letters and I was banned. I didn't get a warning or anything, and it's not as if I can PM an admin to complain because "my messaging limit has been reached" even though I only sent THREE messages in all the time I joined the stupid site.

GAH.

This is an extremely unimportant rant that has no effect on anyone but myself but...
jfklonsvobao three worst words in the world= To Be Continued!!!
So I finally saw the first part of Godkiller. They escaped from Davey Dragos' cannibal zombie virgins and then they went outside and all of a sudden this dude was asking Tommy how long he'd been having the "dreams", and then he realized it wasn't a dream 'cause his finger was metal, and then it said to be continued! How could they DO THAT?!? And I don't know when they'll be making the next part (I mean this only came out last year but still) grrrr...
Okay that was unimportant XP
"Do you understand?" "Uh, no." "Of course not, I'm not making any sense." XD

...Okay XD

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CAN MAKE SOULEATER SEEM SO "OMG! THEY'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" ON THE 21 EPISODE, WHEN THERE ARE FIFTY ONE!!! SERIOUSLY?! I KNOW they're gonna live, otherwise the stupid series wouldn't go on for so long. Yet I still feel the need to yell and scream like it's the end XD

I love that series so much ^_^

I know what you mean, lol in Godkiller this guy walks up to the main character (Tommy) and tastes his blood to see if he's "clean" (most people are infected somehow) and then he like has this wooden club with nails sticking out of it and Tommy's like "I'm gonna get hit again. This time with nails." andthentheresasplatandbloodsplasheseverywhere and then it goes dark. And I was like O.o he's dead. He has to be dead. And then he wasn't dead. XD
XD I'm not going to say anymore about it, okay? XP